Brandon and I maintain our sanity by putting our kids to bed. Every parent has their own approach to managing their chaos— our’s is bedtime. We learned early on that we need some time in the evening to be kid free. At times it is when we tackle renovation projects, tucking the kids in bed and then heading out to the garage and sanding cabinets that will get repainted the following night. Some nights it is when we tackle ministry work that didn’t get finished during the day— sermon writing, emails, reading, flyer making— really anything that needs a bit of quite. Other nights we are so drained that bedtime is immediately followed by binge watching random shows on Netflix. That’s right, some nights we put the kids to sleep and fall onto the couch with a cup of tea and see how Netflix can help us forget the chaos that came before.
One such night about a year ago, Brandon and I stumbled upon a series called “Brain Games.” Each episode promised 22 minutes of uncovering how the brain works. The first was called “Focus Pocus” and explored what we see and what we don’t see, and why. Over and over it demonstrated how focusing on one element can keep us from seeing another (you really should check it out if you have netflix or through National Geographic). The take away—our brains are inundated with information, so much information that where we put our focus determines what we actually see.
I have been amazed recently by how much I actually don’t see. Brandon and I have been officially working to start a new ministry in Anthem, AZ for just over one week. That process has altered my focus. We have been doing an activity called a “windshield survey”. The idea is to pay attention to things that we often overlook. Instead of just focusing on your destination, taking in your surroundings. It is an exercise that has changed me.
I am a mom of four children, the grocery store is not a leisurely experience. Even if I am lucky enough to not have all four in tow, I try to get in and out as quickly as possible. I rarely pay attention to anything but sale signs, what produce looks ripe, and which check out line seems to be moving the quickest. But the last time I went grocery shopping I changed my focus. I paid attention to the people. Who are they? What ages? What kinds of cares to they drive? Are there kids? How full are their carts? I paid attention to the store itself. Are the shelves full? What is for sale? What is not? It is amazing to think of how much a grocery shopping experience can tell us about a community we are called to serve. I am sure that my shopping experience in a suburb of Phoenix was far different than my friend Adam’s shopping experience as he ministers in Honduras. We are called to different communities, but the people in those stores with their unique blessings and their unique challenges are the people God has put in our lives to serve. I learned more within a 15 minute grocery shopping experience than I could have from hours of focus groups and the like. This knowledge is at our fingertips daily.
I am grateful to be reminded of the power and importance of focus- to the extent that I choose where I put my focus, I have some control over what I see. If I focus on the chaos that is all I will see. If I focus on the challenges, that is all I will see. If I focus on the relationship potential, that is what I will see. If I focus on the blessing potential, that is what I will see.
It is a lesson not just for our ministry but all of life in its abundance. It is easy to look around my house and see boxes that need to be unpacked, laundry that needs to be folded, toys that should be picked up, and dishes that need to be cleaned. Today I am choosing to see evidence of healthy, loved, imaginative children being raised in a house that is willing to risk, hope, love, and be authentic by following God into the unknown.
It is so easy for our focus to become captivated by the bad, by the difficult, by the short sighted. We need to remember to keep our focus on God and be open to what God wants to set our sights on- deeper relationships, abundant life, transformation. When we focus only on what is on our lists we miss out on our lives being changed and the potential God gives us to bless others as well. I pray that God will continue to open our eyes to the people God wants us to know, love, and serve and to those who God wants us to be open to loving us, knowing us, and blessing us as well. God’s focus is always better than mine.
Image credit: “determined shoppers” by Amy Jeffries CC By-2.0
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